My friend and I were talking about relationships, how in a lot of them one person is the "Lover" and one person is the "Lovey" -- you know, one person is more effusive emotionally, and does all the romantic stuff. The Lovey is the one who is sought after, and is less comfortable proclaiming to the world how they feel about their special one. It seems like these roles can change from time to time in a marriage, but some people fall naturally into one role or the other.
I want to be the Lovee, but the balance of my world doesn't fall that way. I'm trying to embrace the Lover role more, and although it isn't natural to me, and express more emotionally. It is tricky to do it right. My above mentioned friend challenged me to do one Lover task every day this week. It has been a very fun experiment, and has gotten me out of my comfort zone in a good way. The assignment is to do one thing for the Lovee every day, that would be meaningful to him, no strings attached.
It is the no strings attached part that is tricky. I find that a lot of times I compliment with ulterior motives ... I tell him he is a good handyman because I want him to keep being a good handyman. Compliments with baggage. So in true Lover style, I've done ... yes ... yard work. Because I know he likes the help, and he likes to spend time with me that way. No strings attached. Good for me.
We started outdoor soccer this week. I seemed so much faster indoors. I'm going to be sore tomorrow.
5 comments:
Interesting topic. Never thought about it. I wonder which one I am? I agree that ones inclusion in a particular group can change. I should try this experiment. Wait, maybe I do it already. Does this classify me?
Ha! I am also guilty of the compliments with baggage. Way to call it out. And, guess what? One of my "giver" choices this week was also yard work. Our husbands love their yards.
Kinda funny ... Our conversation also made me take the blog plunge. It's designed to encourage group effort: http://verbliving.blogspot.com. If blogs had a dedication page it would give thanks to my much older : ), wiser, soccer-playing friend.
I'm glad your ankle is doing well enough to play soccer!!
Lael: can you stand a guy standing here (metaphorically) on your blog cooing "awwwwww"? This is the sweetest, an hyperbolic that I apply with no sarcasm whatsoever; all the more so knowing you and the lovee somewhat. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.
I'm on board with this challenge. Thanks!
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